2018 began with strong goals and an incredible sense of overconfidence.
I went from out of shape, wheezing after a few miles to 3:41 marathon – I thought all I needed to do was just work my ass off again and I’d have it all.
I learned this isn’t true but I keep at it for the love of the work.
There have been a lot of obstacles. I kept showing up. When I was injured, I let it get me down mentally, but I never let it keep me from doing anything I could to feel strong; I kept showing up.
Have a setback? Perspective:
“There is a weird inverse confidence to be had from feeling destroyed, because being destroyed, having to start again, means you have space in front of you, somewhere to go. …the nightmare is losing the desire to move.” – Z. Smith #KeepShowingUp
— des_linden (@des_linden) November 27, 2018
2018. Nothing good, running-wise, happened for 6 months. A year of patience. I cheered my friends on from the sidelines, watched PR after PR and limped home afterwards. I love cheering others on, but it’s hard when you’re not able to chase any of your goals at the time.
2018 was a lot of grinding, a lot of injury and time off and a lot of just doing it but not seeing results yet. By the time I was healthy enough and strong enough to see results – it was summer. Not exactly PR season.
There’s not a long list of things to review. There’s 2 races I’m proud of and thoroughly happy with. The Boston 10k and Philly. I worked hard and I did things I didn’t think I could do. I had one incredible race – that’s more than enough for me.
Initially, I thought I didn’t deserve 3:26. I still don’t believe I deserve a spot at Boston 2020 but I put in a lot of work. Over 3,400 miles and an average of 9+ hours in the gym or on the road every week for the past year in pursuit of a moonshot. Some weeks 15 hours. I didn’t know what I was working towards, other than being the strongest I could be.
It wasn’t my dream to get here, I didn’t think it was possible. I eventually stopped saying no and started saying I don’t know what’s possible.
2018 taught me patience. #KeepShowingUp
I’m unsure of meaningful goals for 2019 (that would be reasonable). I’ve felt a bit lost after Philly. I accomplished my big goal and everything else I want to chase is out of reach (for now). I’m a goal-oriented person, I like having a concrete goal.
I’m happy to see the work that was a year in the making pay off, but I’m not sure where to go next. One thing I do know, is that I love the work. I don’t need a goal to keep showing up.
Going into 2019, I have no set goals.
I want to improve. I want to chip away at bigger goals. I want to keep showing up. I want to keep working smart. I want to stay injury-free. I want to help others reach their goals.
What’re your goals for next year?